Admissions

I ended something today; nearly seven years after beginning my Bachelor's at the University of Washington, I found out that I have been admitted to the Computer Science department of the Utah State University graduate school. People who knew me before I started would have been, and often were, shocked.

Brain Trust Kid, not getting smarter
Can't adapt, it only gets harder
Things used to be so clear

I was voted Most Likely to Succeed in my senior year of high school. It was a three-way tie. I didn't vote for myself.

Sad soul songs you'd sing to yourself
In your self awaiting the help
You were promised that never appeared

I went to college without thinking, not knowing what I wanted to do there. When I got there, I was deadbolted out of my new home because my roommate, the presumptive heir to the Azteca mexican restaurant chain, was having sex, which I could hear through the door. When my parents came to visit, I hoped they didn't notice the bottles of beer and tequila strewn around the edges of our beds and desks. I ended up sleeping on the couch in my friends' common room more often than not. Then the RAs talked me out of it. I transferred into their area the next quarter.

That year, I didn't call a girl who visited me on her winter break, and she has haunted me to this day. I haven't talked to her for six years.

Oh, Brain Trust Kid
There's nothing in the world to save you

I had the fullest bookshelf. Even after I became a Christian, I prided myself on a sharp mind and a congenial disposition. I enjoyed arguing about religion and everything else. We watched the Simpsons most days for three straight years. I fell in love with video games and free cable. All the time, my grades were slipping.

The big word wins, but nothing to say
A little attention a whole foot away
Could have changed everything for us all

I fell in love with the idea of Linguistics in my sophomore year. Of course, I didn't think about what I would have to go on and do with it, which was, become an ivory-tower academic, or go study a new language out in the boonies. But mathematics and language came together in some great ways in that first class; I never forgot. I completed most of my major classes by the end of my junior year, even though I failed one or two classes a year.

And all the Brain Trust Kids are just getting older
On the skids, losing their luster
But I remember when you were a star

That last year, I had time to kill so I thought about doing a math major (BA, liberal arts version). I thought it would be funny to double major in letters and numbers. I failed the first class I really needed, Multivariable Calculus. I also had too much student debt, all in loans, because I'd failed to write scholarships before I started college, and didn't deserve them after I started.

There's nothing in the world to save you now
As everyone lines up to blame you

One quarter before my fourth year was over, I moved to Utah to be close to my fiancee. College dangled, it turned out, because my grades from my language classes were too low. I worked in a Camelbak-type bottle factory as a temp, welding plastic spouts to plastic bags.

Oh, Brain Trust Kid
Oh, Brain Trust Kid

I got a job laying out textbooks on the computer. I found out that I'd missed my calling. The real combination of letters and numbers I was suited for was computer science. I'd had little training, but the logic, mathematics, and language was almost intuitive to me.

I spent half a year learning about myself in a class through my church, then decided to go back to school for computers, a momentous decision. This was about a year ago; the same week, my wife found out that she was carrying our first child.

So much for the best-laid plans the world has never seen
We'll be heroes in each other's eyes, beloved in our dreams
No one can save us now

Sometimes I wonder what my old friends would think of me; after all, I was supposed to take over the world. Succeed. Become Rich and Famous. If anybody could, I should.

And for myself, I was supposed to become important, wise, make my contribution, be unique and make my burnt offering, my holy gift to God.

All these deep things I sought.

There's nothing in the world to save you

The trickster Jacob worked for seven years herding sheep to receive Leah, the sister he did not love. All that torture of slow time, of age, of disappointment and failure he endured.

He spent another seven years for Rachel.





Lyrics from "Brain Trust Kid" (small) (large) by Glen Phillips.

[Editor's Note 6/24/2006: To those searching in for the lyrics to "Brain Trust Kid" by Glen Phillips, greetings! Here are a few corrections to what I used in the preceding entry. The lyric should read in the second verse, "In your [cell/hell] / Awaiting the help" instead of "In your self"; I've heard either "cell" or "hell" in different recordings. Also, the line "As everyone lines up to blame you" has also been sung "As everyone lines up to shame you". Also, in the bridge "So much for the best-laid plans the world has never seen / We'll be heroes in each other's eyes, beloved in our dreams / No one can save us now", the line "No one can save us now" is pretty rare. I'm not sure exactly, but I think Glen has also sung "There's no one in the world to save you now" instead of "There's nothing in the world to save you now" at various points in the song.

If you like the song, check out www.myspace.com/glenphillips to keep up with Glen and listen to a few of his tunes, see the music video, read the blog, and so on. He has a new album out, Mr. Lemons.

Here follow the complete lyrics with the corrections. Choose only one word where there's an alternation. If you're Glen Phillips' lawyer and he wants me to take down these lyrics, I will, of course. Just email me and establish your bona fides.

Brain Trust Kid, not getting smarter
Can't adapt, it only gets harder
Things used to be so clear

Sad soul songs you'd sing to yourself
In your [cell/hell] awaiting the help
You were promised that never appeared

Oh, Brain Trust Kid
There's nothing in the world to save you

The big word wins, but nothing to say
A little attention a whole foot away
Could have changed everything for us all

And all the Brain Trust Kids are just getting older
On the skids, losing their luster
But I remember when you were a star

There's nothing in the world to save you now
As everyone lines up to [blame/shame] you

Oh, Brain Trust Kid
Oh, Brain Trust Kid

So much for the best-laid plans the world has never seen
We'll be heroes in each other's eyes, beloved in our dreams

There's nothing in the world to save you